Okay, after chaos in the last few days, I talked to Michael, Julia, Grace, and my mom. Now I have a clear picture of how to cope with this situation. First, I will practice and get the logistics done today including contacting Mark, confirming with the directors, borrowing the video recorder, and testing the tech equipment. I will go ahead and have an interview with people. If it is successful, I will go there; if not, I will stay and tough it out no matter S throws any kids of unreasonable requests and challenges.

I have spent more than 15 years on this hill. I don’t want to leave because of S although she is so MEAN. All I worry about is that S gives me more hard time which makes me unable to graduate on time.

Yesterday, Grace told me to be principled and not lie to the school about taking leave. Thus, I will be honest because my mom will have surgery then seriously. That’s why I am stressed out. I feel like I have been living in survival mode for a long time since S treated me poorly.

Notes: I finally completed my teaching demo last Friday. Generally, except for time management, things went smoothly. I received 93% of it and the thing I need to improve on is differentiated instruction.

Notes: I have not informed Pat about all the affairs I encountered because I am not sure about my transition yet. However, I was so nervous about if she received all the teaching demo stuff from Mark. She realized a different behavior pattern from me because I was too overwhelmed to reply to her and I usually submitted my assignment in time. She consistently told me via Facetime that I will be fine and she even asked me to talk to her that “I will be fine”. I felt supported because we met each other only for 2 months. She realized that I am always hardworking and she would like to help me out.