1. “I believe in you.”
Saying “I believe in you” is a powerful way to redress the imbalance and remind kids that you are there first and foremost to help and to serve—and that at the root of all of your feedback is an abiding belief in their uniqueness and their potential.
2. “We missed you.” Instead of asking, “Where were you?” which can carry a note of suspicion—or simply sound like prying—try to respond to a student’s absence with a more positive twist.
3. “I’m listening.” Used as both a confirmation and an invitation—for example, as an open-ended prompt when a student looks troubled or starts to feel frustrated—the phrase “I’m listening” signals that there is space and respect for student voice in your classroom.
4. “Oops, I made a mistake.” There are a thousand ways to say you messed up. Saying “That’s a real whopper!” or “I can’t believe I did that again!” can even convey the idea that academic or social miscues can be both frequent and humorous.
5. “We’ll figure it out together.” Students who are struggling with a concept and hear you say “We’ll figure it out together” retain a sense of agency, are reminded that even teachers need help, and are encouraged to think of themselves as competent, equal participants in a problem-solving exercise.
6. “You’ve really improved…” and “I really admire…” Feedback that is specific, measured, and focused on a student’s process or effort is motivating and actionable.
7. “I’m sorry.” Saying “I’m sorry” can be a bitter pill. It’s a frank admission of wrongdoing, and in classroom settings it can feel like ceding authority and thus losing ground in the struggle for discipline and focus. But a judicious use of “I’m sorry” also models one of the most powerful—and rarest—acts of civility and instantly humanizes the relationship between teachers and students.