Recently, since B knew that I will not continue to work with him, he “freezes” me, which is nice and I don’t have to do tons of jobs. He behaves inconsistently. For example, he had no interaction with me for last few days, but when he came in this morning, he actively told me that I may need to sub for J. Therefore, I am really confused. Do I really need to talk to him about the issue or just let go?

If B still didn’t ask me to do any jobs, I would just pretend to be busy and do my own things and prepare for my Kindergarten lessons. It is just weird. I feel like he tried to calm himself and kept quiet. Do I really don’t need to mention anything to him?

B talked to me last week and said, “Pei-Hsuan, when will you come back?” with a really sad intonation. I am empathetic that he is such a lonely poor guy, but honestly, his style makes people who work with him lazy and irresponsible.

I subbed the 1st period and then went to the kindergarten to observe the classes,. It looked fine because I eill take over K3, which is the 6-year-old. They need a lot of movement and activities to engage their attention and participation. However, they looked Okay. I hope that I will have a smooth transition with M and perform the job well.

Since I was struggling about renewing my contract or not, I have felt unstable and lack of sense of security. Also, I do feel unfair that I needed to do so many jobs, but people around me were so leisure and casual. Then, I guess after B was informed that I am going to take over the foreign teacher’s job in the kindergarten, he only assigned a task for me, writing the exam papers. I think that he was shocked that I deceided to become a homeroom instead of working as admin with him. I don’t usually make any trouble and get people uncomfortable, but I am still wondering that when we were so busy for the speech contest until 10:30 3 days in a row, why didn’t he say THANK YOU face to face? Also, why did he just wanna give me the “leftover” coffee? I think that he is a deligent worker with easy-going personality, but his thoughts are really hard to understand.

I just asked J to add friends on Line with me and got refused. However, he did tell me that “I heard that you want to teach more. Don’t worry about here.” Now, I feel that all things at this school is weired and inconsistent. B may feel that I snitched on him or complained about the heavy workloading. However, I did not do anything. I just listened to my heart that I don’t want to do admin and I don’t want to be someone’s assitant any more. I like teaching. I am a licensed teacher. When I looked back, I feel it’s not worthwhile to sub here and there, worked until 7:00pm, and got exhausted without normal life. I need work-life balance, seriously.

In addition, I’ll observe classes in the kindergarten tomorrow for the while morning. I have lots of free time under uncertainty. However, I think that I will teach in the Kindergarten since May 26 officially and move back to be a homeroom teacher for higher grades in August.

Since I have been suddenly asked to sub in the kindergarten, B has been so NICE to me. I felt it is so weird, but the good thing is that I have lots of free time. I have to do like others, “pretending busy”.

AllI need to do is to keep quiet and “keep working” jut like others. I was so jeaslous that my colleagues had lots of free time and freedom. Now I have tons of free time and just need to kill it, like J did, watching videos and listen to radio by his own without doing any real business work. Literally, Hwen ze Hwen ze Guo…ND LIANG la. boring~

I was just finished writing 2 exam papers and intendedly leave 1 for the afternoon. It’s the pay day, finally.

T and me were asked to design the Writing curricuilum and Review curriculum. She is experienced here, so her attitude is clam and sophisticated. She knows how to PASS the time and day here by not OVERWORKED ONESELF. This doesn’t mean that there is no production, but to some extend, how to make oneself comfortable in the working place.

Since I deceide to renew the contract, I have too much “popped up” things. I was so tired to face the fact that most people, the ones in front my rows and behind my roles, have MUCH WORKLOAD and even they did their personal affiars during the office hours. The unfair fact that I feel so frustrated is that some of them slept until 13:20 publically and no one bothered them; however, when we hosted the speech contest, I needed to sacrifice my own rest timke to handle everything.

Now, I hope that I could go subbing at the kinddergarten as soon as possible so that I don’t have to do lots of secretail jobs. The admin jobs took up my time, and apprently, I had no time to do class prep. The quality of teaching is low. However, I have tried my best. This is the reality.

Now the question popped up in my brain was, “If you are not satisfied here, then go somewhere else.”, but it seems that most people here have their ways of surivival. It is part of the school culture here and the fact that how this school runs. I have to admit that I am straightforward and hardworking. I am not “smart” enough to skip things or live in the “energy-saving” way.

All I want is to pass every day peacefully and fulfill my contract.