Category Archives: blogs

The ‘How’ of Building Deeper Relationships with Students

As I am going to resign from my organization, I started pat attention to the issue of farewell. I was considering if I should inform my students about my leaving or not. However, I recently read a book which states “Kids need closure when relationships end.”  This made me think a while because in my previous school, we, host country faculty, did not get used to telling students about leaving, but overseas teachers did. I discussed this with my professor and my colleague, and I felt that it is my responsibility to have the official farewell with my kids even though the time we get together is only two months. I really enjoy getting together with them. As my last class is on Thursday, October 28, which is really close to Halloween. I am thinking about playing “trick or treat” can give them Halloween cookies or getting some stationery for them. I would like to take a group picture with them as my memory for sure, but I am still thinking about what to do and what to get. I hope my kids get enough emotional support on the fact that I am leaving.

When students feel safe and supported in school, they can learn better. Here’s how to start making those connections.

Building strong relationships with students is a vital part of the work educators do in schools, yet not every teacher enters the classroom having learned the nuts and bolts of how to develop and nurture teacher-student relationships, writes Gianna Cacciatore in Usable Knowledge.

But relationship-building is a skill we can all get better at, says Megan Marcus, a counselor and the founder of FuelEd, a nonprofit dedicated to teaching educators social and emotional skills. “Just one relationship with a caregiver throughout a lifespan can actually change the brain’s development, heal trauma, and promote learning,” Marcus tells Cacciatore. “Educators have the potential to utilize this power. Many do this organically—but we could do so much more if educators were equipped with the skills and self-awareness to systematically do this work.

When teachers consistently prioritize building strong connections with students, research shows there’s a significant impact on kids’ long-term wellbeing as well as their ability to learn and stay engaged in schools. “Learning doesn’t happen without relationships,” writes Rebecca Alber, an instructor at UCLA’s Graduate School of Education. “In the classroom, rules matter, but as many of us have learned after a few years teaching, relationships matter much more.”

Here are four ways to start building and nurturing authentic, strong relationships with students.

DEVELOP YOUR “EMPATHIC LISTENING” SKILLS

A natural response when a student is distressed is to immediately offer advice or reassurance, but that’s not always the most helpful or productive reaction. Instead, try slowing down and patiently “listening to what a student has to say and not responding. No reassuring, no offering advice. Just listening,” says Cacciatore. This can be hard to do, especially if you’re a problem-solver by nature, so take a breath and remind yourself that good listening isn’t necessarily about fixing anything or anyone. Ultimately, empathic listening builds trust: “Someone comes to you, they share their feelings, and instead of jumping in to problem-solve, you listen,” notes Marcus. “Now, not only is this person calmer and better able to solve their own problems, but they want to come back to you again, share more.”

Empathic listening also requires waiting until the person who’s speaking finishes and allowing ample space for pauses, writes neurologist and teacher Judy Willis. “Such pauses, which demonstrate your focus, may give the speaker the reassurance to reveal something they were reluctant to share,” says Willis. Remember to sustain eye contact and an engaged posture to signal that you’re actively listening rather than bored or distracted, she adds.

CARVE OUT TIME FOR SMALL TALK

Small talk isn’t insignificant. Each Monday morning, middle school math teacher Cicely Woodard and her students form a check-in circle, pass a ball around, and take turns sharing how they’re feeling, offering compliments to classmates, or discussing what they did over the weekend. “Though it can seem like every minute is needed to get through the academic content, I’ve learned that a five-minute investment once a week to learn about each other is invaluable to my students and builds a better culture in my classroom,” writes Woodard.

But Woodard also connects with her students throughout the school day, finding a few moments prior to class to chat, for instance, or greeting students at the classroom door. “Because I’ve made myself approachable, some of my students will tell me stories about their lives during the five minutes between classes,” she writes. “I stop what I am doing, look them in the eyes, and listen. I love seeing their eyes light up as they tell me these stories, and these encounters always leave me a little more knowledgeable about who they are as people.”

BE GENUINE, IT’S OK TO SHOW VULNERABILITY

Educators often feel pressured to maintain authority in the classroom and avoid expressing emotions or sharing personal details with students. But this can inadvertently put up a wall between teachers and students, ultimately hindering efforts to develop strong connections. The reality is that everyone experiences worries, anxiety, or frustration at times, and when teachers find opportunities to share their own feelings with students—in developmentally appropriate ways, of course—it helps normalize students’ own emotions and struggles.

“It starts with so much honesty and transparency with kids,” says Lindsey Minder, a second grade teacher. “It’s really easy to strive to be this idealized, always ready to go, elementary school teacher. And that’s not real, and that’s not human. My students connect most with me when they see that I also struggle, and I also have challenges.”

Showing vulnerability can be as simple as acknowledging imperfections or sharing a few personal tidbits, says instructional coach and educator Beth Pandolpho. Her students know, for example, that she “cried a lot in elementary school,” and that her big goal in middle school was to not cry at school, she writes. “There’s a chance for teachers to bridge the divide between the adults who seem to have all the answers and the students who are still figuring things out,” Pandolpho says. “When my students feel like they know me, they’re more actively engaged, seek my help outside of class, and are more receptive to my suggestions and ideas.”

TRACK YOUR EFFORTS

The many competing demands on educators’ time and attention can make the work of nurturing relationships feel overwhelming. That’s something educator Todd Finley decided to tackle. “Wouldn’t more students benefit if the [process] were less haphazard and unconscious?” writes Finley, a professor of English education at East Carolina University. “I decided to experiment with being deliberate and intensive in thinking about my students.”

Aiming to make his relationship-building efforts more systematic and intentional, Finley developed a 5×5 assessment time strategy. Each morning, he sets aside a short block of time—like when he’s driving to the gym—to think deeply about five students for about five minutes per child. During these minutes, he reflects on a set of guiding questions: what he noticed about the student recently, for example, and what this reveals about their struggles, values, and goals. Throughout the school day, he’ll use these reflections to start conversations with the focus students. “This can happen in the hall, or in class while I’m passing out papers—whenever it seems natural to do it,” he writes.

Plan for a bit of a learning curve with this strategy, Finley warns: “Don’t expect it to go perfectly at first. As with mindfulness, you’ll get better with consistent practice,” he writes. But the simple habit of consistent, systematic reflection “will build your capacity to notice, understand, and connect with students—competencies exhibited by transformational teachers that fortunately improve with practice.”

Reference: https://www.edutopia.org/article/how-building-deeper-relationships-students?fbclid=IwAR0zOGYB5tAcjsrPfiMBliYG5YBeXUN8MW-649ukrj7Fn2Mu57MS11aiUsw

We are experiencing an empathy shortage, but we can fix it together

“Being a psychologist studying empathy today is a little bit like being a climatologist studying the polar ice caps,” says psychology professor Jamil Zaki. That’s because according to research, our collective empathy is eroding. But there is good news: Empathy is a skill, it can be built, and he explains how he — and others — are doing just that.
 
  • Empathy a simple word for a complex ideas that comprises both share +understand.
  • Listen, connect, and share
  • New view of empathy: a set of skills which can be practiced engaging deeper care+ understanding (It is under our control).
  • Empathy is not just a trait but a renewable resource.

Creating a Mindful Space for Self-Regulation

Setting aside a quiet room for elementary students who need time and strategies to regulate their emotions helps them return to class feeling ready to learn.

We believe that when students are comfortable with their feelings, they engage and move easily through their school day. Emotional safety brings strong relationships, confidence to take academic risks, resiliency, and overall well-being. Our job as staff members is to support students in every step of this growth.

PRIORITIZING STUDENTS’ EMOTIONAL HEALTH

Through our own education and understanding of student needs, coupled with the daily support of students in the classroom, we recognized the increased need for student ownership of emotional regulation. With the help of a Greater Cincinnati Foundation Learning Links grant and a partnership with MindPeace, we developed our idea for the Brave Room: a place for students to utilize for calming, reducing stress, recharging, and practicing strategies needed to regulate their emotions. We wanted to honor our students by developing the most mindful space for prioritizing brain and emotional health.

Following a brainstorming session, we began to search for similar spaces at other schools. We discovered that a neighboring high school had developed a calming space. After the principal and school counselor visited their calming room, the team was determined to adapt the idea to our elementary school building. A team wrote up a design plan, and then wrote and submitted a room proposal for the grant to fund furnishings and calming tools. The room next door to the counselor’s office was named the Brave Room. Full of excitement upon receiving the grant, the team ordered room supplies and assembled them for the first day of school.

Each August, staff member orientation reminds faculty of the mission, purpose, and protocol of the Brave Room. The Brave Room is for student proactive, self-regulating strategies and not for exclusion or punishment. Detailed procedures are provided for teachers to post, practice, and reiterate to students for clear expectations.

ESTABLISHING PROCEDURES

The school counselor leads all students through Brave Room orientations within the first weeks of school. During small-group guided tours, application of coping strategies and the appropriate use of the room’s sensory tools are explained. These procedures include the following: use of the Brave pass, how to sign in and out, time expectations (5–10 minutes), and how to use stations in the room effectively.

Examples of stations include a reflection opportunity, gratitude practice, a balance board, sensory tools, a Zen garden, a weighted stuffed animal, calming sounds, headphones, and a bubble wall. The school counselor reminds students of her location next door, her availability, and her support.

Our partners created a digital system that allows students to identify their feelings and rate the intensity of those feelings when entering and exiting the room. Captured data of Brave Room attendance informs staff members if additional support is needed for students and guides action steps for our building. As needed, the school counselor checks on individual students and develops additional care plans. While we have been fortunate to have our own digital system, schools could also use Google Forms to create an in-house system for students to check in and out.

Students can access the Brave Room throughout their school day based on individual needs. Our data shows that the Brave Room typically has the largest amount of visits at the beginning of the day and following recess. Transitioning to school day responsibilities and peer interactions at recess can both feel challenging. Time spent in the Brave Room encourages the students to reset emotions before engaging with classroom peers.

We have found that using the room proactively with planned, scheduled breaks for individual students has been very effective. Student response to the Brave Room has been most respectful and positive. Student ownership of the shared community room is crucial. Proper use of the Brave Room is modeled by the school counselor during student orientations and practiced by students. We continue to see students honor and value the Brave Room and its purpose.

REDUCING ANXIETY AND STRESS

Supporting students, earning their trust, and making students feel safe is a priority at any school age. The atmosphere of the Brave Room is welcoming and caring. Teachers see the Brave Room as a calming environment for student success. They recognize the positive reaction of students as they regulate their emotions before returning to class and express the effectiveness and value of the room. Many teachers and visiting families immediately comment on the calming effect the room has upon entering it.

Students routinely note that their level of anxiety has decreased after their time in the Brave Room and they are more productive and engaged when they return to the general classroom. In fact, families have shared that they have created their own Brave Room space at home, especially during school quarantines. This consistency from school to home strengthens the awareness and effectiveness of calming practices. Helping students breathe and reset is a lifelong valued skill. This is the goal of the Brave Room.

The Brave Room offers proactive support for students as they learn, change, grow, and embrace self-care.

Reference: https://www.edutopia.org/article/creating-mindful-space-self-regulation?fbclid=IwAR05l9rEVOnUbEHGiVe5DW_tBHr8G6Mu-7kL1FgGAo34iNzqUyl2V_R1QxM

“The secret of education lies in respecting the student.”

I handed out my resignation letter yesterday. The main reasons that I take action is that first, the social worker always shout loudly/yell at at students who made mistakes including writing words untidy, forgetting to get signatures from parents and homeroom teachers, and some tiny little mistakes. What I saw in my class is totally different  than what I have learned. I always wondered that we teach kids to respect teachers and peers, but did the social worker respect the kids? The reasons that I chose to leave is that I no longer need to tolerate this unequal power of the adult-children relationships and I cannot change the rigid culture of A-apple,B-banana, C-coconut only. Learning is supposed to be flexible and multiple. There are possibilities that A-ant, B-ball, C-cat, etc. The kids are poor because they have no choice of their learning; it is rote memorization purely. The progress is that they can memorize the pronunciation and the words, but they cannot apply the knowledge the have learned.

As a teacher, I firmly believe that this need to stop because even I ,myself, learned English 20 yers ago, I owned the learning agency of my fun English class. We cannot return to the improper teaching methodology again otherwise all the efforts in our educational reform are in vain.

Broken Trust

Breaking Down Trust 

Recently, I encountered the huge difficulty of someone taking my student loan away and telling me afterwardsTherefore, I become super sensitive and defensive about the money flow. I had a heart clutch because I think my trust has been abused.

I don’t believe anyone is always honest I do feel it’s important that our actions toward each other are characterized by empathy and respect.

If trust has broken down, can it ever really be rebuilt? Or is it something that once broken is gone forever?

This was a BIG CHALLENGE for me especially how to clam down with complex emotions and react politely after I knew the face that something unreasonable has happened. My conclusion is that no matter what situation when I encounter, DON’T PANIC and DON’T BE ANGRY. The emotion triggered will not help anything, but turn the situation in the opposite way. This is the top priority that I am learning and adjusting now.

Second, I think respect is super important. The reason that someone broke my trust is because her attitude is poor after she took my student loan away. The doctor told me that it’s because she “feel shame and and turns into angry”. I understood. Therefore, I have to say that respect is essential and attitude is deciding.