Apparently, I still need some time to recover. I am more comfortable to be in an international environment no matter I am working as a teacher or it’s part of my life. I realized that I am not a traditional person. I am more western style. I believe that my kids and I can learn, grow, and thrive in a soft enviornment. I just don’t like the idea of “punishment” all the time.

It’s my first day after COVID. I was struggling and hesitant the night before. I couldn’t pull myself out of the vicious circle of illness. However, I went to the Veterans Hospital and the doctor told me I should have given myself more time to rest and recover. However, I have to work and make a living. I also have the responsibility to my K3 kids. I couldn’t suddenly disappear. I talked to Grace and she told me that I should have a conversation with my body, reminding all my cells to get ready for work. I believe it is not tardiness, but it is just… sickness.

Today, my kids said that they missed me and they don’t wanna go to elementary because they will miss me. Although it was a bit challenging, I feel so sweet. I am so proud to be these guys’ teacher!

Fighting! Move on!

I tested negative. I was expecting that I could go back to work this morning. In the process of recovering, my mind seemed to rush to go back, but my body seemed not ready yet. Therefore, I need to double-check with G and R. Even if working in the same school, people hold different perspectives. They want to do whatever separately, but no one purely looked from my side, as a patient. It turned out to be…I was not sure what to do and checked it with Grace. How come I need to do so? I don’t know…but I really learned that she is the only one who stands by my side, purely looking from a patient’s perspective…and perhaps, she encountered cancer, so she was empathic and supportive without a personal stance. Eventually, I need this 4th day to recover. I am not 100% but at least, I feel that I am physically and mentally prepared. I’ve tried everything I can for tomorrow.

The doctor was right. He said, “I can’t ask you to disobey the school policy and not wear a mask” and ” Sleeping a lot is your physical mechanism which tells you your body is not fully recovering yet”.

Since I was so sick the last 2 nights. It went through the process of fever, normal, fever, and normal according to the medication effect. I felt so weird and since Grace’s coming, I did the COVID test. I am POSITIVE. My plan needs to change at all.

I can’t go back to Kaohsiung. Grace decided not to come. Although I don’t need a quartine, I feel terribly sick. I was expecting her coming and reserved a table in The Little New York. I hoped that we could enjoy quality time together. However, it turned out to be she asked me if I have things to eat, and do I go to a doctor. I texted Sally and Grace back and forth and just don’t want them to worry. All these check-ins are signals of concern. She told me to make good use of the opportunity to REST. When she told me she was upset about not coming, I realized that she is definitely a supporter in my life. Then, she decided to take the HSR back and forth between Kaohsiung and Taichung.

In addition, all of my other supporters think that my decision for Grace to come is insane. However, when I talked to her, I am sure that as I guessed, she is principled and she thinks it’s okay to stay with me as a friend. I think that she trusts me a lot. From this case, we know that the teacher-student relationships in Taiwan are rigid. Teachers are distant with students especially professors. They even asked me, ” If your professor sleeps with you, do you sleep well?” Haha, my intuition was just Grace is my supporter. I really did not think about too many details. Stephaine even told me so straightforwardly that she does not have this kind of experience so she can’t imagine that a professor can be a supporter in life. For her, processors are used to socializing, not real friends. Well, in my case, I am lucky to have Grace who really loves me, supports me, and helps me all along the way.

It’s the first water park day after COVID. The kids were so excited about playing with water. They invited me to play with them. One of the boys said that his dad is going to get a water gun for him, so they can have fun. As an FT, I just wanna enjoy my time with kids, so I got a new T-shirt, sports shirt, and water gun. I hope we can have a wonderful memory before the Nemo class graduates.

What a big tragedy! I just went to the water park for 5 minutes and got soaked. The educational bureau came to audit. I was informed to escape… I was nearly naked and so wet. I needed to flee to the elementary library. Then, when I was informed to go back, the time was gone. I encountered a situation that I just had 5 minutes to enjoy and have fun with the kids. However, luckily, other FTs helped me and I borrowed the blow dryer. I blew dry my hair and finally could change my clothes. Now I got extremely tired!!! Also, R got a bit annoyed with me because I sent the kids without masks down to ask for masks. I didn’t know her purpose, so I feel it was an understanding… and we got cold in the interaction. I believe that she did not treat M in this way. They are more equal. (She seems to be in a higher position now… I just feel uncomfortable and tired. I don’t wanna do anything right now except take a nap.)

I was so sick until 9 pm. My temperature was 38.1. I take a sick leave and a mental health day just to calm down. Besides, I could go to notarization if my health situation allows. Now, I am worried about my fever and coughing might be scary for Grace because will be coming to stay with me on Sunday and Monday. Then, I got sick back to Kaohsiung. I can’t kiss Machi again….