Why Using Positive Language with Students Is So Important + 15 Examples

We’ve all seen moving stories about adults who remember a specific phrase, whether positive or negative, that changed their life’s trajectory. From “You are an artist” to “You aren’t good enough,” teachers have the power to move students deeply, or to cause permanent damage. Harvard researchers have determined that the single most significant common factor in building resilient children is those who succeed had at least one “stable and committed” relationship with a caring adult in their life. To be that one person for our students, we have to choose our words wisely. As society works as a whole towards more inclusive and positive language, it’s more essential than ever for teachers to both teach and model excellent language choices. Our students’ futures depend on it. As we all work towards positive language that builds our students up, let’s examine five areas where we can make some word swaps that matter.

#1 Positive reinforcement: Focusing on the child, not the product

Top child development researchers have long encouraged adults to praise a child’s efforts, perseverance, and grit rather than the result. They’ve also warned not to tell them how smart they are, changing the focus away from “permanent” traits and instead giving them the power to achieve and persevere using what they can. For example, if a child studies and does well on a test, and a trusting adult praises how smart they are, what will they think when they fail a test? That they are dumb. Instead, we can focus on noticing their determination in studying well, or their willingness to make test corrections to learn from their mistakes.

Say this, not that: 3 easy swaps to focus more on the child and less on the final product

  • Instead of: “Great job” try “I love how you worked through that tough problem.”
  • Instead of “You are smart!” try “I saw how much effort you put into that!”
  • Instead of “I love what you made!” try “Wow, I wonder how you did that! Can you explain your process to me?”

#2 Emotional intelligence: Saying the right thing when it matters

Part of building those trusted relationships with students is knowing just what to say that will help, rather than making the problem worse. When a student is in distress, the last thing they need is a teacher choosing words that further increase their self-doubt, shame, or frustration. This even applies to a student who has made a bad choice and is “in trouble,” as sometimes they are simply reaching out for positive attention.

Say this, not that: 3 easy swaps to help a child who is misbehaving, struggling, or in emotional distress

  • Instead of “What’s wrong with you?” try “What happened?” giving them the opportunity to explain rather than justify or defend themselves
  • Instead of “Why are you so upset?” try “How can I help?”
  • Instead of asking “What’s wrong” to a student with their head down, you can quietly ask, “Sick, sad, or sleepy?” to determine instantly which course of action you should take next. This can also be done on a post it note (“circle one” style) to increase the privacy of the conversation if other classmates are around.

#3 Gender-neutral language: Updating your common expressions

Depending on your location, your community may find it more or less acceptable or common to say “Hey guys” or “Ladies and gentlemen” when addressing a group of people. As teachers, we have the responsibility to teach progressive language as much as possible, especially when we may be the only environment in which our students can become more educated on this topic. In 2019, Pew Research reported that 1 in 5 Americans know someone who prefers gender-neutral pronouns, and those people are you, your coworkers, your students, and members of their families. There are clear steps you can take as well to make sure your LGBTQ+ students experience an inclusive atmosphere.

Say this, not that:3 easy swaps to ensure you are demonstrating gender-neutral language in your classroom

  • Instead of assuming your student prefers “he” or “she” especially when you are aware that a student identifies as transgender or gender-neutral, ask their preferred pronouns at the beginning of the year, and work to respectfully help others honor their wishes as well.
  • Instead of addressing the class as “Hey guys,” take a note from our friends to the south and try out “Hey, Y’all!” If you aren’t feeling that, “Hey, friends!” works well too.

I usually said “hey class!”

  • Instead of “ladies and gentlemen” opt for “class” or “students.”

#4 Inclusivity: Adapting your language to all family situations

Long gone are the days where anyone should be asking a student’s mom to sign their planner (remember planners?!) Around 1 in 4 students are living in single-parent homes, more than any other country in the world, and our language should reflect that. There’s nothing worse for a child than having to inform the teacher they don’t have a mom or dad due to an insensitive and non-inclusive comment. Beyond single parenting, some students live with grandparents, other family members, in foster families, or with other guardians.

Say this, not that: 3 easy swaps to account for all family situations

  • Instead of “ask your parents,” say “ask your grown-ups.”
  • Instead of assuming any child’s family situation, get to know who your students live with. It can go a long way to ask a student “Have you discussed this with your stepdad” (if you know that’s your child’s main guardian) rather than “Have you discussed this with an adult at home.”
  • Instead of referring to anyone’s mom or dad, use “guardian.”

#5 Classroom management: Using positive, not punitive language

No child, or adult really, gets motivated by responding to threats. Instead, focus on clear expectations rather than “what’s going to happen if they don’t…”. This applies to procedural signage around the room, as well as to how you talk to children.

Say this, not that: 3 easy swaps to increase motivation and results in your classroom environment

  • Instead of “If you don’t XYZ, you will lose recess,” try “How can we tackle this mess so we can go outside more quickly?!”
  • Instead of “Quit talking while I’m talking!” try “I expect that you can wait your turn to talk until others have finished.”
  • Instead of “Don’t stand on the furniture,” try “Please stay seated.”

These simple positive language swaps make huge differences.

Reference: https://www.boredteachers.com/post/positive-language?fbclid=IwAR36JtL8t8vS4FwnYK-V8vttTJJwKZJcXseyjCMmkSyR1E2_TSPCY0g9U-8

5 Adaptable SEL Strategies for In-Person or Distance Learning

Whatever this school year brings, teachers can consistently use these strategies to promote critical life skills.

Classroom social and emotional learning (SEL) practices can help students learn to problem-solve, manage their emotions, and build relationships. Integrating SEL practices into school culture helps to ensure that students gain these critical life skills.

The importance of implementing SEL across the school day is crystal-clear: 56 percent of students reported increased levels of stress during the pandemic over schoolwork, grades, time management, and lack of sleep, while nearly one in three young people reported feeling unhappy or depressed more often.

With many schools across the country facing near-term uncertainty due to the rise of the Delta variant, it’s important to think of SEL practices not just in the traditional classroom, but in digital spaces as well. Whether students are back to learning in person in the classroom, in a remote setting, or in a hybrid environment, SEL can exist across a continuum of best practices.

SEL PRACTICES VARY ACROSS A SPECTRUM

Through my previous experience as a classroom educator and current work as an educational researcher, I’ve found that SEL is practiced across a wide spectrum. On one end are schools that take a transactional, compliance-focused approach to social and emotional learning.

You may find yourself at a school like this, where teachers receive lesson templates and designated class periods for instructing students on self-regulation, self-awareness, and relationship building. If you work at a school on the other end of the spectrum, you’ll likely find schoolwide support resources, an integrated systems approach to SEL, and a culture in place that helps students practice these skills well after lessons are over.

Other teachers we interviewed work at schools that fall somewhere in the middle of the SEL spectrum. These schools might have a coach or another professional who works with individual teachers to bring SEL strategies into their classrooms. While helpful, this approach has limits, since not all teachers have experience integrating SEL into their practices. As a result, students might experience wildly different degrees of SEL throughout their day.

USING ADAPTABLE SEL ACTIVITIES IN YOUR CLASSES

Regardless of where you find yourself or your school on the SEL spectrum, here are some helpful practices that you can adopt to integrate SEL into any classroom or school culture.

1. Gratitude practices: Host moments of gratitude in the morning and afternoon to help students begin and end their day by reflecting on what they appreciate in their lives. This can be as simple as a one-word check-in, or it could be a longer prompt: “Share one thing that you are feeling grateful for today.” Regular gratitude practices like these are linked to positive emotions and improved health.

2. Movement breaks: Create opportunities for regular movement breaks to get students reenergized for learning. Movement isn’t only a proven way to boost student productivity—it’s also a chance for students to develop social skills and strengthen their creativity as they interact with their peers. For younger students, you might use popular videos like those from GoNoodle to lead the action. For older students, you might provide team-building activities or other options that allow for break choice.

3. Individual check-ins: Offer opportunities to communicate one-on-one so that students can share their feelings in a private space, whether that’s online or in person in your room. When you see that a student is unusually silent during a group discussion, disengaged, exhibiting concerning search activity, or struggling in some other way, a nonjudgmental check-in through chat can make all the difference. Holding virtual office hours through conferencing software can also establish critical connections for remote students.

4. Moments of accomplishment: Build in time for occasional bragging moments that give students the opportunity to share an accomplishment with the class. Students can also use these moments to boost a peer. You can support these activities using Pear Deck’s free Add-on for Google Slides. Teacher prompts and text slides provide students with an opportunity to publicly share their response. For example, “Share a recent accomplishment that you are proud of” or “Give a shout-out to a classmate for something great that they did!”

Sharing can also be anonymous, which enables students to feel more comfortable articulating things they might not otherwise. By allowing students the chance to talk about themselves and others in a positive light, you’ll give them a chance to focus on their strengths and build self-confidence.

5. Engage in reflection: Help students reflect on conflict resolution. This might involve using Pear Deck to show a scenario of a conflict, followed by a text slide activity that encourages students to answer open-ended questions like “How might Person A’s actions have made Person B feel?” and “Why might they feel that way?”

By engaging students in reflection, you’ll help them develop empathy and build stronger relationships with their peers. For younger students, you might read a passage aloud to them and then invite them to draw on a slide how they imagine the character feels. If you’re looking for an analog version, providing students with a few sheets of paper and a marker is a great nondigital version of this activity.

WEAVING SEL INTO SCHOOL AND DISTRICT CULTURE

Right now, we have the opportunity to support our students and staff by integrating SEL into all aspects of the school experience. When you integrate SEL into the fabric of your school community, you’ll find that students aren’t the only ones who benefit. In my discussions with educators, they shared that they found themselves not only improving the culture in their classrooms, but also strengthening their own well-being practices. As one teacher put it while reflecting on the power of an integrated SEL culture, “It has influenced our students, but influenced us too.”

Reference: https://www.edutopia.org/article/5-adaptable-sel-strategies-person-or-distance-learning?fbclid=IwAR1WqTvyLtA8qesgjC6wxzCe7p2ouA-Z339Nq4uHDJKQRgXkb7_nFD33N0E

Setting Up Strong Family Engagement in the Early Grades

Good connections between classrooms and families can sustain young students’ success.

When teachers create connections between their classrooms and their students’ families, they are opening and investing in lines of communication that can sustain student success. Connections are now especially important given the ongoing pandemic. These days, parents and families are isolated from schools, as social distancing and extra precautionary measures preclude parent-teacher conferences, open houses, and other opportunities for teachers and students’ families to meet.

Whether their students are in person or virtual, teachers need to be open, creative, and flexible in finding ways to engage families with their classrooms, even if from a distance.

I use community-building strategies that are culturally responsive and attuned to students’ emotional needs, sustain family engagement, and provide ongoing structure and support. Use of these strategies can help ensure that students are honored, families are valued, and a feeling of community is instilled both inside and outside the classroom.

ONGOING STUDENT ENGAGEMENT

Something that feels like home: Ask students to bring something from home that makes their classroom feel more like home. This could be a photograph, a stuffed animal, or a musical instrument. Having an artifact from home gives students the opportunity to reach out and grab something familiar if they’re feeling a bit down or homesick. Also, it provides a way for all families to be represented within our classroom.

The best part of me: Have the class create a book in which each student tells one thing they like about themselves. Each student chooses one part of their body that they love and then photographs it. Next, each child writes the name of that body part on sturdy paper and then the teacher writes down the reason. For example, “The best part of me is my foot because I like to kick a soccer ball.” Each student has a designated page, and the book can be displayed and reread anytime.

Circle time emotions: I typically like to end each week with a group circle where we discuss different topics as a class and each student gets a turn to speak. Students can use Circle Time to discuss conflict or repair a fractured relationship in the class, as well as connect with their emotions. Start with “What makes you happy?” and then adding other emotions once students are familiar with the format. My classes have had productive conversations built around what makes us happy, sad, nervous, or angry.

Identifying emotions: Students feel a wide range of emotions, so it is an important skill for young learners to be able to identify which emotions they’re feeling and why. Emojis can be an easy way to convey how they’re feeling. This will allow the practice of checking in with emotions and practicing the acknowledgment of different feelings, and even being able to talk about them without fear of ridicule. Once this is mastered, have students connect their emotions to other items, such as a certain color or a certain texture. Exposure to a variety of ways to discuss emotions will help validate all the feelings that they have.

Portfolio assessment: Assessments for our students are frequent and ongoing, but children quickly learn that quiz/test culture is how they are judged. Make it clear that there are numerous ways that people can show what they know, and then introduce the idea of a portfolio assessment. Tell students to keep work they are most proud of in their portfolio and give them opportunities to practice explaining how it is a good representation of what they know.

ONGOING FAMILY ENGAGEMENT

Home surveys: Sending weekly surveys home (or biweekly or monthly) can provide ongoing data and thus insight into your students and their families. I prefer small surveys with one or two questions at a time, as I have found families more receptive and responsive to them.

For example, one time I sent home a survey because I wanted to find out the kind of art they had at home. I explained that I wanted to learn about what type of art was in their homes to help build connections in the classroom. I asked for examples of music that students’ families liked, visual art that interested them, and the movies and television shows that they watched. Ideas for future small home surveys can include family traditions, favorite recipes, and what supports students may need.

Zoom family hours: Hold evening office or family hours on Zoom for parents and family members to pop in and ask questions or otherwise engage with you about their children. It can be an accessible way for families to connect with you. However, it’s important to set boundaries and not let the same families dominate each session. Also provide other opportunities for those not wanting to attend a Zoom session or who are unable to connect in this way.

Outdoor book walk: Find a public park or walkable street where you can post pages of a book to create a walkable reading experience that families can do together. Choose books that are representative of your students, even texts in their home languages. Laminate each page separately. Post pages every so often along the walking path, and encourage students’ families to go for a walk together and read.

Family book club: Choose a book that is representative of your students and in their home language if possible. Record a video of you reading a portion of the book aloud each week until the book is complete. After each section of reading, post discussion questions that families can talk about with their children. Post a few questions for families in their home languages as well if possible.

Reference: https://www.edutopia.org/article/setting-strong-family-engagement-early-grades?fbclid=IwAR3w7cO8Z4q_HkCXhOA_Wek2zHTGbfkhtAFuD_ttLKYt8YIkvBMWAxBnk2Q

Maximizing Student Voice to Achieve Equity in Classroom Participation

With some guidance, all students—whether outgoing or reserved—can effectively take part in class discussions.

CHANGING OURSELVES AS QUESTIONERS

One way we can ensure equity to air space is by minimizing the generic questions that we throw around to anyone who will take us up on answering. These generic and nontargeted questions ensure that students who are confident in their answers and who are outspoken are the only ones with the voice. This convenient default mode is dangerous because it subliminally communicates to students that answering questions is about getting the right answer rather than actively learning. It also undermines the best practice of ensuring wait time so that all students can formulate their thinking.

When I operate from this default mode, it also means that some students feel invisible; I can watch students leave my class after a period realizing I only “noticed” about half of them… the dominant voices. I hate those days. Ultimately, questions that are intentional in their design and target are the questions that ensure all voices are honored.

CHANGING OUR STUDENTS AS CONVERSATIONALISTS

Our classroom is full of students who have inherent conversational tendencies. Some dominate the conversation. Some are active listeners. Some sprinkle in their thoughts here and there. Some are distracted. Being intentional in creating equitable air space benefits all of these types—and more.

In any healthy working environment that is built on quality collaboration, those who are dominant need to build self-monitoring skills to transition from vocal participation to strategic facilitation. The same is true for students who do not like to participate. Students who are shy need a safe space to build the confidence and courage to share their thoughts and ask their questions. When we create a classroom dedicated to equity of verbal space, we model healthy collaborative practices that build sensitivity and awareness of one another.

Before I continue, I want to be clear about the difference between equity and equality in air space. Equality would mean all students are talking the same exact amount. But, far richer yet more difficult to achieve, equity protects all students’ right to be heard. It is not about frequency; it is about presence. This allows for people’s natural conversational styles to be honored but still sends the message that every single person’s voice in the class matters and is worthy of being heard. Here are some ways to do just that.

SETTING UP AN EQUITABLE AIR SPACE

In the beginning of the year, focus on building connections through community builders and establishing healthy participation norms. Be redundant and explicit with the messages that verbal processing is a necessary part of learning, that all voices matter and deserve to be heard, that mistakes and questions are welcome and honored, that struggle is messy but collaborative and rewarding.

Even more important than these messages is the tone that they are delivered in. When participating in class becomes a punitive grade opportunity (“You’ll lose points if you don’t contribute”), a healthy verbal space is undermined. Rather, the invitation should be just that: a warm welcome to truly be here, in this community. Another easy action to build equitable air space is to reduce teacher talk; our classrooms should be dominated by the voices of students and only facilitated by ours.

Another essential way to ensure equity in air space early on is to get to know our students as individuals. I do this through several surveys at the beginning of the year. One of them asks students to tell me about their participation style. For those who self-indicate they are dominant, I conference with them about the importance of developing their listening and leadership skills in conversations. For those who are reserved, I conference with them about the importance of verbal engagement and how I can support them in their growth.

STRATEGY AND DESIGN

It’s not enough to establish the foundation for equity in air space; it must be nurtured intentionally throughout the year. For this, I rely on protocols. Yes, they can come with baggage, but I have come to see through my own experience and through the experience of my students that protocols protect participation.

More often than not, I build in think time. This means students have quiet time to mentally process and/or write in preparation for our discussion. This encourages students who speak too quickly to add depth and complexity to their thoughts, while also giving the reserved students confidence and courage.

I find that a modified think-pair-share protocol is a great extension of this. Students have time to gather their thoughts, then they share with a partner, and then I ask students to share out not what they said, but what their partners said.

It’s important here to point out the difference between a discussion and a share out. Whereas a discussion offers students the chance to spontaneously volley their thoughts among one another, a share out offers more space for students who are reserved to have the chance to offer their voice. Another boost to those students is to give them a heads-up that I will ask them to speak.

Lastly, I always make sure as much as possible that I offer choice and variety. For example, I offer eight to 10 questions that require a variety of thinking strategies but allow students to pick the three that most interest them.

Through intentional design and follow-through, even the shyest of students can feel verbal success. In these classes, everyone speaks. Every voice matters. Everyone has the power.

Reference: https://www.edutopia.org/article/maximizing-student-voice-achieve-equity-classroom-participation?fbclid=IwAR3SP6l0sb-RwjJpiwVNmT8recQiiB-cY_YwvHg9OD1Os3cy51hEHNDs79s

Best of Luck, my kids!

My Dear Kids,

After struggling, I negotiated with the supervisor of the social workers. As your teacher, I witnessed all your effort and your progress. I am proud of you! You all are lovely, naive, and innocent. I sincerely hope that you took away from my class the happy memories, the joy of learning English, and the confidence because I think you are doing a great job! Although we all have some space for improvement, I did enjoy working with you! You make me impressed and I wish the social worker can improve her bad temper and treat all of you fairly, respectfully, and inclusively in the near future.

Phew! This nightmare finally disappeared from my life! Get out of my life, the MEAN social worker! May the positive memory remains, and may you learn, grow, the thrive.