As it is at the end of the semester, I submitted the final scores. The lowest score I gave to a P4 kid is 7 out of 2. I am a bit concerned that parents will attack me for giving the kids low scores. However, I think it is fair to those students who work hard and perform well. On the other hand, I am waiting for the final results of my job hunting. I hope there will be good results during these two days.

Like peanut butter and jelly, chocolate and peanut butter, peanut butter and…basically anything, parents and teachers make a good team. It’s no secret that a solid partnership between home and school begets positive results for learners. Support from both school staff and caregivers means increased academic achievement, more consistent attendance, and better behavior. It’s true: parents and teachers, we’re just better together. Can I get that on a t-shirt?

Then why oh why are more and more parents coming at teachers’ proverbial necks these days? Maybe because it’s easier to point the finger than be personally accountable. Perhaps because finding a scapegoat is much less work than that of self-reflection and exacting change. Whatever the reason, this fall guy approach is not an effective means of handling academic conflict. Hey parents, I think it’s time for a change and here’s how we can make it happen.

1. Listen before attacking 

Instead of firing off that angry and disrespectful email, how about we schedule a call or meeting to discuss our concerns with the teacher? There are two sides to every story, the truth residing somewhere in the middle. If we’re only listening to our kid’s version, we’re certainly not equipped with enough information to form an opinion, let alone threaten a teacher’s job or insult their intelligence. So whatever the conflict—grades, he-said-she-said confusion, academic dishonesty—let’s do a better job of listening beforespeaking. Or emailing.

2. If our kid is acting like an A-hole, we need to own it

What if instead of making excuses for our child’s behavior, we enacted some consequences for it? Yeah, it sucks taking away their devices (it’s like punishing ourselves, amirite?!), but if we don’t nip their bad ‘tudes in the bud now, it’ll only get worse. Hear me out: instead of grounding our kids, we could spend more time with them. Life is crazy busy right now, not to mentiona little scary with the whole pandemic thing and all. Maybe our kids are extra mouthy because they’re extra stressed. Whatever approach we choose, it’s our responsibility to address the unacceptable behavior and have a zero-tolerance policy for it in the classroom.

3. Let’s back off and let our kids do the hard things 

Remember how we felt when we realized our little one had been tying his shoes at daycare, but refusing to do it at home? There were certain expectations at daycare, created to ensure children master certain skills, and our sweet baby understood it was his responsibility to meet those expectations. The same is true at school. Barring any sort of legitimate learning disability, there’s no reason our kids shouldn’t be expected to follow rules and be held to high academic standards. Sure, it’s hard and sometimes inconvenient, but what are we saying every time we fight to bend an eligibility rule? When we advocate to lower the bar and make the test easier? Or when we swoop in and do their science project for them?! We’re essentially telling our children we don’t believe they can do it. It may not feel like it at the time—it probably feels like we’re helping, lessening their stress. Listen, I know no one likes to see their kid struggle, which is why we lash out at the teachers, our perceived source of said struggle. But the truth is, our constant intercession is only hurting our children. Our kids can do hard things, unless we don’t give them the freedom to fail sometimes. Let them tie their own shoes.

4. They’re learning more by watching us than listening to us

There have been many ‘a day over the past year that I’ve not been my…ahem…best self. Like many other working parents, I’m barely holding my head above water. But at the end of the day, my children are my responsibility, and it’s my job to teach them good manners, a solid work ethic, and conflict resolution skills that won’t get them arrested. I sometimes forget they’re learning more by watching me than listening to me. In that regard, I’m not always successful (though I’ve yet to be arrested, so SCORE!), but when I do slip up, I understand the importance of acknowledging my mistake. We’ve all been there, inclined to bad-mouth teachers, criticize how they manage their classrooms, or even go off on a social media rampage. In the event we do succumb to those big feelings, our kids need to see us apologize and do better next time. If we don’t model humility and accountability for our children, who will?

5. Ask for help

Anyone who says parenting is easy is the lying-est liar to ever lie. But instead of taking out our frustrations on teachers, let’s ask them for help. Neither parents nor teachers are alone in the journey to educate our children. It’s important to form an allyship with everyone associated with our kids’ education; there’s no shame in requesting the support of guidance counselors, trusting the expertise of teachers, opening lines of communication with administrators, or demanding our village of friends and family help with that damn math homework OMG I am tapped out. Having a support system in place doesn’t make parents weak; it makes us smart. And it helps us to act more human, which I hear teachers appreciate.

The late, great Maya Angelou believed we can “…tell a lot about a person by the way (s)he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.” I’d like to add “works with our kids’ teachers” to the list. Mostly because it’s important that all stakeholders—especially parents—invest in a partnership with educators, but also because I’d hate to be judged by the way I handle tangled lights.

Reference: https://boredteachers.com/post/before-we-blame-teachers

Some of the downsides to accessibility through technology:

1. The work is always just a few clicks away

When our email, grade book, lesson plans and more are all accessible within seconds it’s easy to say, “I’ll just check this one thing…” and then fall into a rabbit hole that has us working for hours. It’s easy to say “leave work at work,” but that’s hard to do when so much of our work is accessible electronically and with us all the time.

2. There’s no sense of emotional safety. 

When parents, administrators and even students can reach us 24/7 there’s no safe place to rest. Many teachers report complaints coming in from administrators late in the evening and irate calls from parents at all hours. 

3. There’s pressure to always be available and to always be the best. 

Sometimes it seems teachers are expected to be in competition for a cape with “Super Teacher” printed in glittery gold letters on the back. There’s constant pressure to answer every message immediately and to scour Pinterest for the perfect templates for all projects big and small.

4. There’s no balance between work and your personal life. 

This often causes a strain with romantic partners, friendships and family members. Our kids see us working from our phones instead of watching them at soccer practice. Our dates, friends, and family get frustrated when we take work calls during dinner. Being in constant teacher mode isn’t fair to us or the people who care about us.

5. It contributes to chronic stress. 

Going in and out of work mode means you’re never really relaxing. There’s no chance to rest and recharge. 

All of this means teachers become even more burned out. This isn’t good for anyone – the teachers, their families, administrators or students. 

Teachers need to set boundaries when it comes to technology devices. Here’s how:

Teachers have the right to set boundaries about how and when they work outside of the school day. Here are some ways to do that:

1. Only answer parent calls and emails during school hours. 

Nothing with a student is so crucial that we need to handle it in our personal time. If there is an emergency with the student, they need medical or mental health professionals, not a teacher. Caring about our students shouldn’t take away from caring about ourselves and our own families. 

2. Don’t open school email after hours. 

The first step to achieving this is to not even have it installed on your phone. It can wait. 

3. Tell administration to only call or text in case of emergency. 

Anything else can wait until the school day. Setting boundaries with supervisors is terrifying for many people, but it gets easier with practice. 

4. Don’t give parents or students personal contact information. 

Parents and students shouldn’t be able to call or text our personal phones! That’s a violation of our personal space. Just say no to giving out that info. 

5. Do not accept friend or follow requests from parents or students on social media. 

Many teachers use a different name or email address to limit the chances they can even be found on social media.

Teachers need to set boundaries when it comes to technology devices. Here’s how:

Teachers have the right to set boundaries about how and when they work outside of the school day. Here are some ways to do that:

1. Only answer parent calls and emails during school hours. 

Nothing with a student is so crucial that we need to handle it in our personal time. If there is an emergency with the student, they need medical or mental health professionals, not a teacher. Caring about our students shouldn’t take away from caring about ourselves and our own families. 

2. Don’t open school email after hours. 

The first step to achieving this is to not even have it installed on your phone. It can wait. 

3. Tell administration to only call or text in case of emergency. 

Anything else can wait until the school day. Setting boundaries with supervisors is terrifying for many people, but it gets easier with practice. 

4. Don’t give parents or students personal contact information. 

Parents and students shouldn’t be able to call or text our personal phones! That’s a violation of our personal space. Just say no to giving out that info. 

5. Do not accept friend or follow requests from parents or students on social media. 

Many teachers use a different name or email address to limit the chances they can even be found on social media.

6. Make sure your social media settings are private. 

We don’t need parents, admins, colleagues, and students knowing the details of our weekend before we get to school Monday morning. Use the privacy settings to lock down social media accounts.

7. Don’t engage in school conversations outside of school. 

Ami, who provides occupational therapy in schools, frequently runs into teachers and parents who want to chat about student processes outside of school. Running into people who want to talk at restaurants, grocery stores, etc. is inevitable. It’s okay to say, “It was great to see you! I’ll be in touch during school hours.” and move on.

8. Have separate devices for personal and work use. 

If you can afford it, use separate devices designated for work and personal use. Refrain from installing work-related apps and programs on your personal devices. 

9. Turn off all work-related notifications. 

If separate devices isn’t an option, turn all work-related notifications off. 

10. Commit to not working outside of school. 

The best course of action is to simply commit to not working outside of school as often as possible. (And it’s usually possible way more often than we think.) Ron, a Florida teacher, says, 

I refuse to work outside of contract hours. Grades and lesson plans can wait. I enjoy teaching, but it will not be my identity.” 

Check out how this teacher mom decided to leave work at work and how it’s made her a better parent AND teacher.

It’s important to protect ourselves from burnout. The best way to do that is to be proactive in reducing our workloads and our accessibility after hours. Setting boundaries is hard but so important and beneficial to our quality of life. If we all take steps towards changing what is expected for teachers, we can slowly create a field that is healthier for all of us. 

Reference: https://boredteachers.com/post/surprise-surprise-teachers-have-personal-lives-too-well-get-back-to-you-during-school-hours

I love time with my students …

I love the fascinating kids who surround me. They’re so funny and so resilient. And they are without a doubt worth getting up before sunrise and putting in way too many hours a week. I mentor kids outside of school, and I’ve developed lasting relationships with kids I taught more than a decade ago.

… but I could do without the babysitting responsibilities.

At my school, we eat with students in the lunchroom. I’ve been with kids for four hours at that point and have four more to go. I’d just like to talk to an adult for fifteen minutes while I wolf down a salad. We spend 10–15 minutes lining kids up in the hallway at dismissal and waiting until the entire school is silent. Try having that as your last interaction with kids before the weekend. Worst of all is supervising lunch detentions. Eating while pacing around the room eyeballing kids and silently daring them to throw another pea across the classroom? Very relaxing and conducive to good digestion.

I love creating curriculum …

Teachers at my school design their own curriculum. It’s a massive time commitment and responsibility—and a huge privilege. I get to teach kids whatever books I think they’ll love. I spend tons of time every summer reading up on the research, and I seek out my own training opportunities. And I wouldn’t change a thing about that.

… but it would be nice to have the resources I need.

Sometimes that’s money. More often it’s time. I never have planning at the same time as the exceptional ed teachers, so any co-planning we do has to take place outside of school. Same with my grade level team; our planning is so often taken by conferences, there’s hardly ever time to explore cross-curricular connections that would really help our kids. And when we do have a teacher planning day, it’s invariably a “data dive,” where we talk about test scores all day and never address ways we can actually help the students.

I love watching my kids grow …

A kid came up to me this year and said, “My sister said not to worry that I can’t read that well, because she says you taught her how to read.” And dude, I totally did. I get kids who come in reading at a second grade level and they make three or four years of progress in my class. I take kids who can’t write a sentence and teach them how to write coherent essays. And I’m nothing special; teachers all over the place are doing this for their students. It’s basically a superpower.

… but the constant documentation exhausts me.

We give computer-based benchmarks three times a year, state tests every spring, and a variety of standardized measures of achievement in between. Every time, I’m expected to analyze each student’s performance and growth in stupefying detail and then differentiate activities based on Lexile level, language usage skills, vocabulary, and a plethora of other factors. Problem is, these assessments and the endless analysis that accompanies them don’t actually tell me anything new about my kids. I already know which kids are low readers. All this accomplishes is putting competent kids in groups that are too low for them because they had an off day during testing.

I love helping my students grow socially and emotionally …

I draft former students as mentors. When I don’t have lunch duty, I spend it listening to a kid talk about Marvel movies or helping a cohort of others apply to a scholarship for summer leadership camp. I’m getting trained in restorative justice so I can apply it in my classroom and, hopefully, my school.

… but enforcing meaningless rules is a waste of my time.

I can’t pretend that yelling at kids to tuck their shirts in or punishing them for wearing the wrong color belt is preparing them for their future jobs. Who would willingly stay in a job where people treated you like that? Aren’t we trying to give them options for the future, a chance at jobs where they’ll be treated like responsible people? Should I really get bent out of shape if they whisper in the hall or if the line they march in to the bathroom isn’t geometrically perfect? I’m supposed to spend half my day tending to minutiae of student behavior that has no impact on their well-being or learning.

I love teaching.

I love my kids and their families, and even my administration most of the time. Differentiation and lesson planning are my jam. But the things I have to do that are completely unrelated to student learning and growth are killing me. The time I spend on “data dives,” monitored bathroom breaks, and benchmark testing has to come from somewhere, and the other stuff I’m doing is too important to give up.

It comes down to horrible choices: Do I stop helping students apply to private high schools, or do I miss my own son’s school party because applications are due on Thursday? Do I stop giving long writing assignments that I have to grade so I can do more data analysis, or do I grade those papers at night and basically never see my husband or read a book again? The emotional weight of teaching is very real indeed.

I shouldn’t have to make these choices, and neither should anyone else. And it’s easy to fix: Provide support for teachers and trust them to spend their time in ways that help kids, rather than assign busy work to make them prove they’re doing their job. We love teaching … we just don’t have time to actually do it.

Reference: https://www.weareteachers.com/teaching-extras/?utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Facebook&fbclid=IwAR0jAJr-P45iAokT-HW_B3cOW3sBOXDRGAADBfvxKaIJEByUFHZ6DIOoWTg#Echobox=1668196792

A teacher’s day is full of grading, answering questions, monitoring recess, attending meetings, and of course, teaching. But there are a lot of activities and habits that are a part of teacher life that are not in the job description. And we work hard to keep most of them our teacher secrets! Here’s a rare insider look at the things teachers secretly do.

Some are true! Teachers are humans. Sometimes we use some strategies to cope with parents. I usually don’t forgot students’ names. Kids usually get it back from me. They usually said, “Teacher, you forget my name! It’s unfair!”

Teacher secrets:

1. We have favorite students. 

Maybe it’s the kid who makes things easy on us. Or the slacker with the sharp wit. Maybe it’s the lonely child who just needs a little extra attention. But we all have our favorites – even if our favorite changes from day to day.

2. We zone out while students are reading out loud. 

Okay, in our defense, we’ve already read this chapter – like every year for the last 10 years, so it can be hard to focus.

3. We use code in emails to parents.

When we say your child is “very social,” we really mean she will. not. stop. talking. And “natural leader” is code for bossy.

4. We forget student names. 

When we see that kid we had in class three years ago in the grocery store, it might take us a second to pull up the name. “Heeeyyyy youuuuu!” is always a safe bet.

5. We consider putting a margarita machine on our classroom needs list every semester.

It really doesn’t seem like too much to ask.

6. We show the movie for us as much as for the students. 

Yes there is an educational benefit to watching the movie based on the book you just finished. But the fact that it will guarantee 90 minutes of blessed silence is definitely a perk.

7. We aren’t above bribes. 

It’s not a coincidence our students got an extra 15 minutes of recess the day after we had a great observation.

8. We occasionally “forget” to grade an entire stack of essays.

Admittedly, this is trickier for elementary and middle school teachers whose students are still eager. But if you teach high school, there’s a good chance the kids forgot they even wrote essays – so it’s all good.

9. We only pretend to grade participation. 

That clipboard we carry around and write on as we monitor group work? We’re really just making a grocery list.

10. We actually think some questions are stupid.

You know how teachers reassuringly tell their students “There’s no such thing as a stupid question,” when they are encouraging participation? That’s a lie. There most definitely is such a thing, and we know it. 

11. We wear pants several times without washing. 

Seriously, what teacher has time to do laundry every day (or week)? So, yeah, maybe we do sometimes wear our favorite pair of teacher pants two or three (or five) times between washings – but only if our denim slacks aren’t available.

12. We do a mental happy dance when that student is absent. 

Obviously, we hope it’s just a dental appointment or a mild cold, definitely nothing serious (or contagious). But it is a blessed relief to get a break now and then!

13. We sometimes let that student run an errand so we can get a break.

Traditionally, running an errand for the teacher has been a little badge of honor, a sign a student was reliable and trustworthy. But it’s a more inclusive world now, and no one should be barred from errand-running – particularly not that super talkative kid who will take ten minutes to get to the office and back.

14. We mutter things behind our masks we can’t say out loud. 

It will require some real self-control to curb this habit once mask mandates are lifted.

15. We eat food that isn’t ours from the staff room fridge.

Obviously, the Vera Bradly lunch box with Judy’s monogram is off-limits. But that pizza? That is probably there for the taking. Right? I mean, who leaves pizza just lying around with no name on it.

16. We text each other during faculty meetings.

Unless we are old school, then we pass notes.

17. We play PD Bingo.

Growth mindset, rigor, differentiated instruction, data-informed instruction, paradigm, instructional scaffolding, real-world learning, grit. Education is rife with buzzwords. Sometimes making a game out of them is the only way to get through all those long professional development seminars. The first person to fill in their bingo card with all the educational buzzwords gets to eat Judy’s lunch! (Bonus if you can actually get the presenter to say a specific buzzword.)

18. We push back test dates for our own sake. 

Our students need never know we forgot to write the test or that we just don’t want to grade their essay questions this week. As far as they are concerned, this postponement was an act of pure benevolence.

19. We Google things our students say.

It’s true that middle school and high school teachers are apt to pick up the current teenage slang. But when they use a word or expression we don’t know and all their friends laugh, our first question is always, “Did they just say something dirty?”

20. We “cook the books.” 

We’re supposed to have three grades in each week, but this week we had a test that took two days and a film that took three. Okay, ummm…everyone gets five points for answering this question when I call roll! Problem solved.

21. We often look the other way.

Some rules need to be enforced every single time. But am I going to interrupt my lesson to tell Timmy to spit out his gum or because Suzi muttered a swear word under her breath? Sometimes, no.

22. We’ve all been the one to jam the copy machine – and leave it.

We aren’t proud of it. But sometimes we just Do. Not. Have. Time. To. Deal. With. One. More. Thing – particularly when that thing is a machine that is supposed to make our lives easier. Sorry, next person in line, it’s not personal.

23. We all cry in our cars.

At lunch, at recess, during our planning time, on the way home from school, on our way to school–it happens.

There’s a certain sense of camaraderie and solidarity that comes from knowing that we share so many quirky experiences and habits with other teachers. After all, how many other professionals get excited over new pens or the chance to wear jeans. So, what about you? What would you add to this list?

Reference: https://boredteachers.com/post/secret-life-of-teachers

Below is an actual job description for a teaching position that was posted online, which has been translated into a realistic description of the literal teaching job, written by a teacher for all other teachers to roll on the floor laughing… or crying… or both. Enjoy!

Job Summary

1. 

What they say:  To plan, organize, and implement an appropriate instructional program.

What that REALLY means:  To plan, organize and implement the adopted curriculum and program by your school or district that may or may not match the student population needs or have been attempted in a similar context.

2. 

What they say:  Teach in an elementary or secondary learning environment that guides and encourages students to develop and fulfill their academic potential.

What that REALLY means: Be trapped in a room that is decorated utilizing self-made or self-bought materials (which leave you making even less money), as outlined by the mission and vision of the school — NOT necessarily driven by the students’ interests.

3. 

What they say:  Work is performed under the supervision of the principal.

What that REALLY means: Work is performed under the supervision of the person who you will come to believe you know more than, who may have never taught in the very grade level they are supervising, and/or who may have only a fraction of your own teaching experience. 

Essential Functions of the Job:

4. 

What they say: Plan, prepare and deliver lesson plans and instructional materials that facilitate active learning.

What that REALLY means: Spend your free time and money developing lesson plans that meet the instructional needs of those who are in charge of the curriculum.

5. 

What they say: Develops schemes of work, lesson plans, and tests that are in accordance with established procedures.

What that REALLY means: Do what you are told and become a minion for those who believe they know what is best for the students in your class.

6.

What they say: Instruct and monitor students in the use of learning materials and equipment.

What that REALLY means: Be prepared to teach students how to use simple learning tools such as scissors, pencils, markers, and computers appropriately.

7.

What they say: Use relevant technology to support and differentiate instruction.

What that REALLY means: Find your own professional development opportunities to build your knowledge of educational technology resources and implement them in your classroom, should you have tech resources.

8.

What they say: Manage student behavior in the classroom by establishing and enforcing rules and procedures.

What that REALLY means: Be skilled in your counseling, behavior specialist, and social work skills to ensure that students are able to remain in the classroom accessing the general education curriculum.

9. 

What they say: Maintain discipline in accordance with the rules and disciplinary systems of the school.

What that REALLY means: Be able to identify when you need to call for support for behavior without being that person who calls “too much”.

10.

What they say: Provide appropriate feedback on work.

What that REALLY means: Appropriate for the school setting.

11.

What they say: Encourage and monitor the progress of individual students and use the information to adjust teaching strategies.

What that REALLY means: Collect copious amounts of data to defend your practices and requests for the student to receive extra support for academic and behavioral needs.

12.

What they say: Maintain accurate and complete records of students’ progress and development.

What that REALLY means: Basically, be prepared that all students will have an educational plan that requires time for development, data collection, intervention implementation, analysis of data, and input into a computer software program that seems to be written in a foreign language without any previous training.

13. 

What they say: Update all necessary records accurately and completely as required by laws, district policies and school regulations.

What that REALLY means: Don’t get sued or bring attention to the school for unlawful acts.

14.

What they say: Prepare required reports on students and activities.

What that REALLY means: Remember the positive sandwich technique and stay in contact with parents on a regular basis not just when report cards and progress reports are due.

15.

What they say: Participate in department, school, district and parent meetings.

What that REALLY means: Live at the school during your contract time and use summers as a time to find that balance between work and home everyone is talking about.

16.

What they say: Provide a variety of learning materials and resources for use in educational activities.

What that REALLY means: Spend your money and become a regular user of Pinterest and TeachersPayTeachers.

17.

What they say: Assign and grade class work, homework, tests, and assignments.

What that REALLY means: Use your free time to meet your work obligations.

Other Functions of the Job

18.

What they say: Encourage parent and community involvement, obtain information for parents when requested, promptly return phone calls and answer emails.

What that REALLY means: Be at the beck and call of parents to ensure that their child is learning and reaching their full potential as identified by parents who have clearly passed the teacher licensure requirements and know how you are to do your job.  In your free time, solicit support and involvement of community members so that they may volunteer to add to your work of delegating and guiding adults so they can guide the students you are to obligated to guide.

19.

What they say: Participate in appropriate professional activities.

What that REALLY means: Spend more money out of your already small stipend to be a teacher to maintain your licensure requirements and grow professionally.

20.

What they say: Participate in extracurricular activities such as social activities, sporting activities, clubs and student organizations as directed.

What that REALLY means: Spend those times that you could actually go grocery shopping without seeing students because they are at the function, be building positive relationships with your own children and rejuvenating so you can teach the future, meeting the demands of the school organization without extra pay or kudos. Well, maybe a line in the weekly memo that goes out.

21.

What they say: Other duties as assigned.

What that REALLY means: Be prepared to be a lunchroom monitor, crossing guard, bus line supervisor, recess monitor, secretary, custodial activities as needed, bathroom monitor, social-emotional teacher, and, if you are probationary — be a quiet, idea-hoarder, “yes sir/ma’am”-teacher, until your third year. Then, and only then, will you be allowed to “think” and “share.”

Knowledge, Skills, and Ability Required

22.

What they say: The requirements below are representative of the knowledge, skills, and/or abilities required.

What that REALLY means: Until you are a non-probationary teacher who has stopped meeting the requirements satisfactorily and the system struggles to help you move on to a career that is a better fit an ultimately make all much happier.

Physical Requirements

23. 

What they say: Regularly required to sit; stand; walk; talk; hear; operate a computer, hand-held learning devices, and other office equipment.

What that REALLY means: Sit rarely; stand all day; walk up to 10,000 steps per day (as measured by a Fitbit); talk to everyone; hear the complaints of your students, parents, admin, and colleagues; operate a desktop computer that must stay at the school, so all other work must be done on your personal laptop; hand-held learning devices, but NOT your personal phone (you’re unavailable from 8:00-4:00 — the typical hours when most businesses will need to get ahold of you); and make hundreds of copies a week (if the office machine is working!), run a laminator that will get jammed at the least inopportune time, and use your own personal printer, should you need color copies.

24. 

What they say: Reach with hands and arms; and must occasionally lift and/or move up to 10 pounds.

What that REALLY means: Reach to take away student phones and “calming tools” (aka fidget spinners), to give a nonverbal cue for that unwanted student hug, and to reach for the radio to get assistance with a behavioral problem in your class; and you will gain 10 pounds, due to the number of snacks and treats you will eat throughout the holiday season, as all the time you’ll use food to cope. Oh and don’t forget you’ll also be required to hold your bodily functions beyond reasonable limits, to ensure that you use the bathroom no more than 2 times per day.

Reference: https://boredteachers.com/post/the-realistic-classroom-teacher-job-description