As I was working on creating the Line stickers, I started finding the resources between Grace and me. I found a picture of us taken 11 years ago. I suddenly thought of the letters Grace wrote me with her works and her self-portraits. I read through the letters and was so touched by the treasures I received. I also put the Cross of Jesus Christ made by Grace’s mom on my desk. I regained so much energy by doing all these just like a recharged battery.

Here are some highlights of the words Grace wrote to me.

• “I kept your card on my desk. It gave me a lot of strength to carry on. The core value of education is something I have been thinking recently. You know your support and encouragement to me, keep me going too.”

• “It has been so nice to have you in my life as student & friend too.”

• “I just had one operation and still haven’t got the courage to see the doctor again. Life goes on God’s control. Please don’t laugh at me.”—My reply: I totally understand, but please go see the doctor. Prioritizing your health and self-care! I do CARE about you and your health. It’s been 15 years since we met, and I would like to see how we can go together still. Please do keep healthy!!!

• ” Yes, from N. Y. to Taipei, things were changed a lot. But you are still you, that little girl who would never give up. I really miss you and our good old days. It’s me who should say “thank you” to you. You really really made me feel honored and happy to be a teacher. Your attitude and work are still impressive. Good quality of work & good quality of memory would last longer, that’s what I experienced.”

After visiting Grace for a few days, I was being a couch potato and watching Peppa Pig. My mom walked by and said, “Hey why are you always watching cartoons? The Rabbit you created is as cute as the Peppa Pig. Why not try to make it upload to the Internet?” Sure, let me work on the characters again! I will make them as Line stickers! Let’s wait and see!

After a few days of considering, I decided to keep my reflection in my blog.

Although things are changing; people are different due to the reality, I am glad that Grace is still a devoted teacher who loves to help students and always being supportive and caring. She is still a person with integrity and justice as same as I met her 15 years ago. When I tried to express my apologies, her feedback was,” It’s teacher dedication”. Then, I have faith and confidence in her that she is not going to change negatively like most of the teachers in AE.

In addition, I am grateful that although time is fleeing, after 15 years, there is still a campus where I can visit, a private and safe space I can sit and talk, and a beloved teacher I can chat with.

I am thankful for the two points that I stated above. I wanna give Grace a big HUG with love and gratitude.

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The memories constantly popped up in my brain. The sentences that appeared in my brain were “thank you for believing in me when I didn’t believe in myself. You went far and beyond the call of a teacher’s duty. Your influence on me has been profound. I’ll always keep in mind that how much you mean to me.”

As I collected my thoughts and organized my stuff, I was so touched by the words Grace texted me, ” To have taught you is the best present God gave me in life.” I can’t promise how much effort I will cast on teaching and my students, but I am sure that I did not and will not choose to be like Ula who discouraged students by putting teacher benefit as a priority. I will try my best as always to become a good teacher like you.

***Never put teachers’ benefits prior to students’ rights and wellbeing.

Yesterday, I visited I-Shou University. It was a trip for me to seek my identities; this was also a part of my learning task of expressing my gratitude and apologies face to face. Grace and I chatted a lot. We talked about joy, reality, and some weird phenomena in the Applied English department. It seems that most teachers have changed a lot due to the reality and their own choices. I was shocked about the speed of deterioration and corruption there; I was upset about the negative change. It was an obstacle of metabolism between generations and generations. For example, professors without contribution and enthusiasm occupy the vacancies, so the Young PhDs with passion have no opportunities to teach. The quality of education has dropped seriously. This also happens in AE. It was hardly for me to imagine that most of my teachers are getting old and changing their behaviors in this way. However, I am thankful that I am a lucky one who is blessed. At least, I knew that Grace is still the dedicated teacher I’ve known since 14 years ago.

Second, I finally expressed thank you & I love you in person to Grace. Also, I shared my reflection on becoming a teacher. I felt sorry and guilty that back in 2009, we conducted the multimedia project until 12 midnight. Besides, I frequently called her to ask for help around 11 or 11:30 pm since as a university student, I did not realize that teachers are human; teachers have to keep a work-life balance. All I thought about was that Grace told us, “If you have any questions or problems, reach out to me by 12.” I never missed any class and did turn in the assignment on time. However, I firmly believed that I am the only crazy student who had Grace work until such a late night. In the bookmarks I gave her, I did write that please do accept my apologies for my recklessness but without further explanation. I finally had time to talk to her about this matter. Actually, to set the boundary, Grace could simply turn me down with the reason that it was not the office hour and asked me to come back later. However, instead of doing so, she told me that “as your teacher, I am always here if you need any help.” Honestly, it was up until I became a classroom teacher two years ago, that I suddenly learned that I ignored Grace’s teacher boundary. This incident happened almost 15 years ago. I am glad that I had the opportunity to express my gratitude and apologies. By the way, Grace’s feedback was, ” Never think in that way. It’s teacher dedication. Students may not remember what you taught in class, but they gonna remember you and how you treat them.” Yes, I totally agree! I think this is the proudest influence that she has had on me. This is why I couldn’t refuse Allison for her late assignments and keep providing her with a second chance.

Notes for myself: Love is an echo with resonance. I became and will become a licensed teacher with passion and dedication to teaching like Grace in the near future. Cindy, remember Grace said that “It’s teacher dedication”. All you need to do is to invest in students and never think about the consequences. By the way, I think Grace needs more REST. Do NOT put too much on her plate. Allow more time and space for her. Health is the priority.