{"id":3302,"date":"2023-01-16T08:48:00","date_gmt":"2023-01-16T00:48:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/peihsuan.org\/?p=3302"},"modified":"2023-01-16T08:48:28","modified_gmt":"2023-01-16T00:48:28","slug":"parents-before-we-blame-teachers-lets-take-a-look-at-ourselves","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/peihsuan.org\/?p=3302","title":{"rendered":"Parents, Before We Blame Teachers, Let\u2019s Take a Look at Ourselves"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

As it is at the end of the semester, I submitted the final scores. The lowest score I gave to a P4 kid is 7 out of 2. I am a bit concerned that parents will attack me for giving the kids low scores. However, I think it is fair to those students who work hard and perform well. On the other hand, I am waiting for the final results of my job hunting. I hope there will be good results during these two days. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Like peanut butter and jelly, chocolate and peanut butter, peanut butter and\u2026basically anything, parents and teachers make a good team. It\u2019s no secret that a solid partnership between home and school<\/a> begets positive results for learners. Support from both school staff and caregivers means increased academic achievement, more consistent attendance, and better behavior. It\u2019s true: parents and teachers, we\u2019re just better together. Can I get that on a t-shirt?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then why oh why <\/em>are more and more parents coming at teachers\u2019 proverbial necks these days? Maybe because it\u2019s easier to point the finger than be personally accountable. Perhaps because finding a scapegoat is much less work than that of self-reflection and exacting change. Whatever the reason, this fall guy approach is not an effective means of handling academic conflict. Hey parents, I think it\u2019s time for a change and here\u2019s how we can make it happen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Listen before attacking <\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Instead of firing off that angry and disrespectful email, how about we schedule a call or meeting to discuss our concerns with the teacher? There are two sides to every story, the truth residing somewhere in the middle. If we\u2019re only listening to our kid\u2019s version, we\u2019re certainly not equipped with enough information to form an opinion, let alone threaten a teacher\u2019s job or insult their intelligence. So whatever the conflict\u2014grades, he-said-she-said confusion, academic dishonesty\u2014let\u2019s do a better job of listening before<\/em>speaking. Or emailing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. If our kid is acting like an A-hole, we need to own it<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

What if instead of making excuses for our child\u2019s behavior<\/a>, we enacted some consequences for it? Yeah, it sucks taking away their devices (it\u2019s like punishing ourselves, amirite?!), but if we don\u2019t nip their bad \u2018tudes in the bud now, it\u2019ll only get worse. Hear me out: instead of grounding our kids, we could spend more time with them. Life is crazy busy right now, not to mentiona little scary with the whole pandemic thing and all. Maybe our kids are extra mouthy because they\u2019re extra stressed. Whatever approach we choose, it\u2019s our responsibility to address the unacceptable behavior and have a zero-tolerance policy for it in the classroom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Let\u2019s back off and let<\/strong> our kids do the hard things <\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Remember how we felt when we realized our little one had been tying his shoes at daycare, but refusing to do it at home? There were certain expectations at daycare, created to ensure children master certain skills, and our sweet baby understood it was his responsibility to meet those expectations. The same is true at school. Barring any sort of legitimate learning disability, there\u2019s no reason our kids shouldn\u2019t be expected to follow rules and be held to high academic standards. Sure, it\u2019s hard and sometimes inconvenient, but what are we saying every time we fight to bend an eligibility rule? When we advocate to lower the bar and make the test easier<\/em>? Or when we swoop in and do their science project for them?! We\u2019re essentially telling our children we don\u2019t believe they can do it. It may not feel like it at the time\u2014it probably feels like we\u2019re helping, lessening their stress. Listen, I know no one likes to see their kid struggle, which is why we lash out at the teachers, our perceived source of said struggle. But the truth is, our constant intercession is only hurting our children. Our kids can do hard things, unless we don\u2019t give them the freedom to fail sometimes<\/a>. Let them tie their own shoes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. They\u2019re learning more by watching us than listening to us<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

There have been many \u2018a day over the past year that I\u2019ve not been my\u2026ahem\u2026best self. Like many other working parents, I\u2019m barely holding my head above water. But at the end of the day, my children are my responsibility, and it\u2019s my job to teach them good manners, a solid work ethic, and conflict resolution skills that won\u2019t get them arrested. I sometimes forget they\u2019re learning more by watching me than listening to me. In that regard, I\u2019m not always successful (though I\u2019ve yet to be arrested, so SCORE!), but when I do slip up, I understand the importance of acknowledging my mistake. We\u2019ve all been there, inclined to bad-mouth teachers, criticize how they manage their classrooms, or even go off on a social media rampage. In the event we do succumb to those big feelings, our kids need to see us apologize and do better next time. If we don\u2019t model humility and accountability for our children, who will?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. Ask for help<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Anyone who says parenting is easy is the lying-est liar to ever lie. But instead of taking out our frustrations on teachers, let\u2019s ask them for help. Neither parents nor teachers are alone in the journey to educate our children. It\u2019s important to form an allyship<\/a> with everyone associated with our kids\u2019 education; there\u2019s no shame in requesting the support of guidance counselors, trusting the expertise of teachers, opening lines of communication with administrators, or demanding our village of friends and family help with that damn math homework OMG I am tapped out. Having a support system in place doesn\u2019t make parents weak; it makes us smart. And it helps us to act more human, which I hear teachers appreciate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The late, great Maya Angelou believed we can \u201c\u2026tell a lot about a person by the way (s)he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.\u201d I\u2019d like to add \u201cworks with our kids\u2019 teachers\u201d to the list. Mostly because it\u2019s important that all stakeholders\u2014especially parents\u2014invest in a partnership with educators, but also because I\u2019d hate to be judged by the way I handle tangled lights.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Reference: https:\/\/boredteachers.com\/post\/before-we-blame-teachers<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As it is at the end of the semester, I submitted the final scores. The lowest score I gave to a P4 kid is 7 out of 2. I am a bit concerned that parents will attack me for giving the kids low scores. 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